Why Quitting Your Job Can Be The Best And Worst Thing To Do
I had this brilliant idea when I was newly married. Well, technically it was my husbands.. I came home for lunch one day and ranted about how unsatisfied I was in my life and work. I was recently graduated with a writing degree but had no idea how I wanted to use it. I was still at the same job I'd had since I was sixteen (I was 22 at that point) and yet nothing else seemed remotely interesting to me.
He looked at me, probably annoyed at my whining and said, "Then quit your job." I was annoyed at his joke until I realized he wasn't joking. He told me to quit and that not having a job might kick me into high gear to find something I really loved to do.
I put in my two weeks notice the next day.
And if your waiting for the killer story of how I ended up here I should worn you that this is the "worst thing you could do story".
I was unemployed for three months. In that three months, instead of becoming empowered and grabbing life by the horns I became incredibly depressed and hid it very well. I was easily angered at anything my friends or family said. I openly criticized myself in our newly wed home and my poor sweet husband, who had done everything right in trying to support me, didn't know how to fix his "broken wife" who essentially hated herself. Ouch.
I eventually accepted a job that I didn't want which was back at my old work, but a different position and on the day of accepting it went home to my apartment and cried for a solid hour. I should note that this place of employment wasn't some awful place. You don't stay at a place for six years and then go back to it because you hate it. But I felt I was settling, giving up on all my dreams, and stuck once again. But at that point I couldn't not have an income anymore.
I worked at that job for about a year but never felt like it was where I was suppose to be. Since I am a mature woman of faith, I would whine on the way to work everyday for God to change my circumstances (of course with me having to do nothing). I kept praying for God to lead me because I had no idea where to go. Eventually He lead me to a new job.
What was great about this job was that it was different and at the time it was the biggest step out in faith I have done. When I first heard about it I went home and told my husband I was frustrated and confused with God because the job was so random and I had no idea what to do! But, within a week of praying and listening I knew I had to take it.
And I'm so glad I did.
Now, you might be thinking, "oh so this is the great story, she was patient and hard working and she got this great new job!"
False. I quit that job too. I know, train wreck! Be patient, I'll explain.
Through a series of random events, the work environment in this new job changed drastically from when I first started. I felt like one by one God was taking away the things that drew me to the job in the first place. Eventually I felt like it really wasn't where I was suppose to be anymore. But! I was not going to quit again without having something pretty solid lined up. Once I had that, I put in my two weeks.
Over the summer the two jobs I had been leaning towards fell through. One I somewhat let fall through because of a few setbacks and the hope for the other job. Then the other job fell through too.
I remember telling Greg while I was waiting to hear back from the other job that I was nervous.
"I'm not nervous to whether I'm going to get it or not because I trust it is all in God's hands, and if He wants me there He will put me there. I'm nervous because I have a feeling if I don't get this job God is going to want me to do something really scary."
Turns out I was right.
Now the problem I had wasn't finding a job. I was qualified and experienced for a lot of jobs. The problem was finding the right job. Every "9-5" job scared me. I didn't want that. There was something in my gut. My "Jesus stomach" that wanted more, it didn't want to settle. (Which in my mind a 9-5 job was settling no matter the money or hours. I know! But that was just not something I ever dreamed or hoped for in my life.)
I sat down with Greg the day that job fell through and asked for one month to figure out another way to make money other than those "9-5" jobs. If in a month I came up with nothing I would take the next job I was offered. By the end of the week I came to him with a blog.
Here is the thing about my husband, and our relationship in general. We are supporters. We believe in dreams. We believe in God's leading of our lives, even when it doesn't make sense. The difference between my husband and I is that He believes it. Or rather he believes in himself.
I'm all talk. I have these great ideas or plans but I don't follow through. Mostly it comes down to not having confidence in myself and in turn God to make said thing happen, and then the fear of failure if I do try to make said thing happen.
So although my husband is the most supportive man, I knew that I'd have to show him. So thats what I'm doing. I'm showing him. He believes in me, but he believes in me most when I believe in myself. And I do believe because I've never felt closer to God or more like myself than I do right now in my life.
I'm a writer who needs to write. A creator who needs to create. A dreamer that wants to help people dream. And a follower of Jesus who is finally letting Him drive.