The #1 Fight In Marriage And The Solution

The #1 Fight In Marriage And The Solution.png

My husband and I were in a small group once where we went around and talked about what our parents had taught us about money. A lot of the answers were things like “not much” or that they just taught them what the parents knew which wasn’t exactly correct.

But one of the most interesting things that came up during this conversation was that for all the divorced parents in the group the main reason most of them had split up had to do with money. The ones that had parents still together said their parents had argued about money often.

If you are married I’m betting it’s one of your main arguments too. That’s not to say that you are destined to break up or that the fights are even huge blowouts. It’s just to say that money is the thing that couples seem to always argue about.

Luckily my husband and I see pretty eye to eye on things regarding this area but even still we have disagreements about spending money on certain things.

So I thought it would benefit you guys to have a post about how to work through these fights and just how to be better with money as a couple in general. Here are some of my tips!

 

The #1 Fight In Marriage And The Solution

1. Know where you both are coming from.

Knowing where your spouse is coming from as far as their childhood and how their parents spent money can be extremely helpful in dealing with their spending habits now. We only know what we are taught or what we saw growing up. Without course correction we’ll just repeat that. So it’s good to know where they are coming from on that front before trying to course correct.

 

2. Don’t keep secrets about money ever.

Secrets don’t make friends and they certainly don’t make good marriages either. Don’t hide purchases, extra money, accounts etc. from your significant other. If you are hiding purchases one can only assume you think it was a bad purchase and if you think it was a bad purchase then own up to it and return it or learn from that mistake. Don’t hide it or cover it up, that only makes your significant other not trust you and money and trust are necessary for your marriage.

 

3. Have meetings about money often.

You can thank good old Dave Ramsey for this one. He’s a smart man for a reason, he knows that talking about money is the only way to start to be in control of it. This goes right along with not keeping any secrets. Talk often to each other about how much of your money is being spent where. This allows you to adjust if needed, set goals that work for both of you and make sure you are both on the same page.

 

4. Meet in the middle.

You may find yourself on the complete opposite of the spectrum as your spouse about money. If this is the case I’d advise you both to meet each other in the middle. Like I said, my husband and I are pretty much on the same page with minimal spending on things. But I always say that if he landed more on the opposite spectrum then I would move that way too. Not because I’m passive and can’t say no, but because when you love someone and value their opinion you’ll compromise. This doesn’t mean making dumb financial decisions to appease your significant other. It just means realizing that they have an opinion too and that it deserves some respect. Meet each other in the middle and you’ll find a good spot to start.

 

That’s all I got for you today friends! I hope this helps make those money conversations not so painful and in the end successful. I want your marriages to be healthy, happy and financially free. Let me know if there are more things I can do to help you get there!

Lydia