What To Do In The Middle Of A Quarter Life Crisis

February 26, 2016

As twenty somethings we learn how to manage depression, anxiety, and being basically lost in life while everyone else seems to have the perfect life map. If you are in the middle of a quarter life crisis let me tell you that you aren't alone, and I have some tips to help you get through it and better for it.

If you’ve been in your twenties for any amount of years you have probably felt the feeling of a quarter life crisis even if you haven’t full blown had one. Feeling lost, confused, and not knowing where to go is all apart of the joy of coming into adulthood. If you are in the midst of it currently I’m here to tell you I’ve been there, it does get better, but in the meantime I have some tips to help you get through the thick of it.

I wrote a lot, so let’s get to it guys! :)


 

 

What To Do In The Middle Of A Quarter Life Crisis

// READ PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT BOOKS

I didn’t start getting into these types of books until I decided I was in the middle of my “twenty something breakdown” I like to call it. I didn’t want to be where I was anymore and personal development books were my last resort in a way. But I’m so grateful!

I think personal development books have sort of this bad stigma, like counseling or something. Like, “Oh a self help book? You can’t figure it out life on your own?” Because you know, doing something all by yourself has become a badge of honor in our society. Like needing or accepting help is a sign of weakness or something. When in fact some of the smartest and most successful people are the ones that read these types of books. They are the ones that are constantly growing, working on themselves and learning how to be better and do better.

During your twenties and during a quarter life crisis reading these types of books will be the key to moving forward. Like I said, I didn’t start reading until I basically didn’t have any better options to turn to, but it turned out to be the best move. They’ve taught me about myself, about God, about my mind and how it works, and about how to actually go after dreams and what that looks like.

I’m currently in the middle of “You Are A Badass” by Jen Sincero and I’m not even that far into it and it’s already kicked me in the butt so much I’m like, “ALRIGHT LET’S DO THIS!”

So yeah, you need to start reading those like ASAP.

Note: There are tons of lists of books to read in your twenties on Pinterest. So if you need suggestions, I’d start there! ;)

// PRAY, MEDITATE, AND HAVE LITERAL QUIET TIME

Whether you believe in the creator of the universe or not I’d be remiss to not put this in here as my advice to working through a quarter life crisis. So much of what a quarter life crisis is involves trying to figure out your purpose in life and what you were created for. What better way to find that out than to simply ask the creator himself. Setting aside quiet time to be praying and talking to God about my frustrations, fears, and dreams has come to be the most humbling yet uplifting times.

Admitting your fears and failures but also your dreams and hopes has a strange juxtapotaion with it. But again, talking to the creator about this life He created for you has a calming affect. If you think no one gets it or understands, He does.

If you don’t feel it right away, keep at it. Sooner or later He’ll start showing you answers to the questions you’re asking.

// WORK OUT

This is something else I did when I went through my own experience of a quarter life crisis. I started trying new things, ways to “fix” what was wrong with me. While working out didn’t “fix” me it did have incredible benefits. The act of exercise has many benefits in and of itself, but just the act of doing it I’ve found gives you so much more confidence than results do sometimes.

Being able to see a change is awesome but feeling different I think had a bigger impact for me. For instance, I felt just as hardcore and confident after my first workout as I did after my twentieth. The act of completing a workout impacts you positively by boosting your confidence  and mood which in the middle of a tough time is exactly what you need. Not to mention those endorphins! Phew!

// DO CREATIVE WORK, ANY WORK

Before any of you groan the words, “Oh I’m just not a creative person!” Simmer down and give me a chance.

Even if you are not a creative person doing something creative is still a good way to help relieve stress, use your other side of the brain and get you thinking outside the box. It pushes you in good ways outside your comfort zone.

The key is to find a creative activity that won’t stress you out because you don’t know exactly what to do. For those not creatively inclined I’d say just having an adult coloring book (yes, I know everybody has one!) that you go back to once or twice a week will help you start stepping outside the normal routine you’ve set yourself. You never know, you may, dare-I-say, like it!?

For those that are creatively inclined, make time to be creative and hone that craft you love. Don’t just let that slide by because you need to get a “real job”. Sure go get that boring “real job” but be working on those creative projects you love so much on the side. There is a reason you love it, there is purpose in your work. So don’t let go of it.

The worst thing I ever did was stop writing for a few years because I thought there was no point in it. I still think about how I set myself back so much in progress by not working on that skill everyday.

If you are creatively inclined, you were made to create, don’t stop that for nothing.

BONUS // KNOW YOU HAVE A PURPOSE

You’ll probably end up reading this in one of the personal development books if you actually follow my advice and read some, but I’m going to put it here just in case you don’t. There is a reason you are on this planet. You. With every hair on your head and cell in your body. You were made on purpose for a purpose. Even if you don’t always feel like it, you need to remember it. That fact never changes no matter what job you have, who you marry, or what you do with your life.

So remember that, even when you don’t want to okay?

Oh, also remember we’ve all been there! If you want proof email me and I can tell you all about it! ;)

Lydia

 

2 thoughts on “What To Do In The Middle Of A Quarter Life Crisis

  1. Madi

    Hi Lydia!
    This is a really great article! I’m not exactly in my twenties yet, but I will be in a month (woohoo!). I’m currently in community school, living with my parents, and trying to find work. But I really feel like I’m struggling. I have anxiety and depression and it’s taken me a longer time to do “normal” things, like get my driver’s license (very recently, like a month ago).
    I’m also struggling in school…I just don’t know what I want to do. I started out pretty strong, but now I feel like I’m drowning. I have difficulty with decision making and I know that I have a purpose, but I’m afraid that if I do make a choice, that it will be the wrong one.
    I know that a lot of this stems from “events” (from a very negative situation that we, as a family, had little to no control over for many years) that happened when I was a bit younger, but I just want to put it behind me.
    All my friends are off living their lives and many of them are almost completely autonomous from their families, while I’m almost completely dependent on mine. It’s very frustrating.
    I have worked for a while, but I recently had to quit my job because my boss reminded me of someone from those former “events” (a very toxic person) and I began to have nightmares and panic attacks regularly. I have a option for rehire in retail and I might be able to work as a waitress, but I still feel stuck.
    I enjoy helping others, working with kids, science, photography, and I’m addicted to writing. I’ve considered becoming a writer or a photographer, but everyone keeps telling me there is no money in it and I should pick a more stable major. I’ve also considered a biology degree, but my GPA is less than stellar, and I would have to spend another year just trying to bring it up before I could consider transferring to a University. *sigh*
    It just feels like a lot sometimes.
    Sorry, I feel like this got a bit away from me *Sheepish smile.* Any advice you have is welcome and I look forward to your next post!
    Thank you so much!
    Sincerely,
    Madi

    Reply
    1. Lydia Lois Post author

      Oh Madi!

      I so feel you! I’ve had so many of the feelings you described! The indecisiveness, the feeling like you might be making a wrong choice, the overthinking, and many more! I always am a firm believer in following dreams but I also believe you should do so with a healthy dose of common sense and hard work. So if you feel called to photography or writing my advice would be to go after those things that excite you, but to also put in the work. If you are willing to put in time and practice to those things and are smart enough to do research and chase after them with smarts as well as passion, well my friend then you won’t be stopped. The idea that a choice might be wrong is always going to loom over us, but we have to just accept that even if it is “wrong” it’s not really because in the end it will teach us something and it will hopefully be moving us forward to our next step or choice. Sometimes things that make sense (like getting the good predictable job or ignoring problems that are arising because of past things) on the outside really don’t fit when you live them out. In those times people won’t understand and they might try and “help” you by giving advice. But in my experience that is when you have to talk to yourself and pray to God to figure out what is right for YOU! it might not always make sense but sometimes those end up being the best things that you look back on like, “How the heck did that happen?”

      I hope that encourages or helps you in some way. Like I said I’ve been there and I still question my decisions in this stage of life wondering if I’m screwing up some unknown future. But again, in the end, the right choices are just wrong ones most of time that God made for good. :)

      Reply

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